


Out Of Breath

by ChocolateCannibal



Category: Naruto
Genre: Humor, M/M, nart is a cop, sasuke calls him out, who kinda sucks at his job
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-08-04 03:45:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16339211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChocolateCannibal/pseuds/ChocolateCannibal
Summary: They didn’t call him ‘Ice-cold Uzumaki’ for nothing.





	Out Of Breath

**Author's Note:**

> Continuation of an old tumblr prompt. Follow tsunderesasuke for other rough/unfinished works from yours truly. 
> 
> Couple of warnings. 
> 
> 1) Sasuke is gay and a Rebel(TM) so he doesn't sit in chairs the way he's 'supposed' to  
> 2) Naruto has ADHD and goes on a lot of tangents. He's trying his best.

"Sorry," the bastard didn't even bother to glance at him, "I don't deal to minors."

Naruto was a cop. An undercover cop, actually. So he probably… had to keep cool. Like, they didn’t call him ‘Ice-cold Uzumaki’ for nothing. (Okay fine, they didn’t call him that at all but Naruto was never the type to let shit go. The nickname will catch on. Someday. Believe it!)

Somehow, there was something about this guy that really, really pissed him off, so instead of laughing at the insult, the cop flushed, flailed, and shouted, "I'm twenty-seven, asshole!"

Que smirk and raised eyebrow. How _fucking_ predictable.

There was nothing subtle about the notorious bad boy Sasuke Uchiha. He was tattooed almost head to toe, covered in piercings where he wasn't, chain-smoked, wore a leather jacket, drove a motorcycle- the whole stereotypical shebang.

Everything about him screamed 'rule-breaker.' (Or walking wet dream but. No, Naruto liked his job and he wasn't going down That Road thank-you-very- _much_.)

Seriously, how hard could it be to entrap a guy like that?

"I'll need to see some ID," Sasuke drawled, taking another drag. Naruto wrinkled his nose at the smoke and coughed pointedly.

“Could you, like, put that out?”

A dull, bored sidelong glance. “No.”

Grumbling, the blond fished his wallet out of his back pocket and flipped it open, showing his driver’s license.

Sasuke glanced disinterestedly at the photo. “Hn.” _You look like an idiot_ , Naruto translated mentally, still fuming. The blond crossed his arms and slouched in a huff.

“Well?” Naruto prodded.

He returned the wallet. The cop snatched it away with unwarranted (heh, get it? Un _warrant_ ed because, ya know, warrants and- bah, forget it!)

“Fine,” another long drag, “what do you want?”

“Uh.” Really? Just like that? “Cocaine.”                       

Silence as Naruto sweat and fidgeted. He coughed once more, feeling an odd tightening in his throat. Sasuke said nothing.

“So…” The cop cleared his throat, wheezing slightly.

“So…” Sasuke repeated like the immature dingleberry he was.

More silence. Geez, was it hot in here or what? The air –maybe because of the cigarette smoke- seemed to be getting thinner.

The comm unit in Naruto’s ear rasped with static _. “Tell him how much you want, baka!”_ Sakura barked.

“Ow!” Naruto hissed, then sucked in another breath. Sasuke rolled his eyes and muttered something. It took Naruto a while to pick apart the long string of syllables and then- “Did you call me usuratonkachi? Now listen here, _teme_ -“

 _“Naruto…”_ Sakura warned.

“-you should, uh, be nicer to your customers. Anyways, I’ll take three.”

“Three…”

“Cocaines.”

A slap could be heard in his concealed earpiece: the sound of Sakura facepalming. Naruto’s thoughts grew fuzzy; the world started to take a weird grey tint. He felt like he was forgetting something important.

Sasuke leveled him with a long, hard stare. “Is this a joke to you?” More smoke wafted into the cop’s lungs. His chest constricted painfully.

“No. What’s the,” wheeze, “damage? I got cash and a,” another gasp, “Paypal.”

“You don’t look so good.”

_Great, now the guy was calling me ugly! This is so typical._

“I’m fine,” the blond lied.

“You’re having an asthma attack.”

Naruto opened his mouth to protest, then clamped his jaw shut with a sharp click. So. While he was decidedly _not_ the least bit distracted by Uchiha ‘Grade-A Prick’ Sasuke’s devastating good looks and totally 100% focused on the task at hand, Naruto didn’t notice the warning signs.

The cop cursed, staggered to his feet, and desperately felt his back pocket. Badge, check. Wallet, check. Inhaler? Where was the damn-

“You forgot your inhaler.” The Uchiha stated. He stood and crushed the cigarette under his heel. “Tch, guess it can’t be helped. Come with me, big guy.”

“Are you calling me fat, you asshole? Well, at least I’m not-“ wheeze “not all-“ cough “not-“

“Save your breath, dead-last.”

_That one stung. How the fuck did this guy know he graduated last in his class at the academy? Like, that was impossible, right? Right?_

“Put this on,” Sasuke roughly shoved a helmet at Naruto’s gut.

“Wha-“

“We’re getting your fat ass to the hospital,” he smirked, then pretty much dragged Naruto and manhandled him onto a black motorcycle. Naruto donned the helmet, dizzy at the sudden turn of events. (And the impending asthma attack).

Sasuke slid onto the motorcycle with practiced grace.

 _Great,_ Naruto blushed furiously, now on top of everything, _I have this guy’s ass pressed up against-_

“Hold tight,” the Uchiha said. That was Naruto’s first –and last- warning before the bike lurched forward with a deafening roar.

A hard, heaving chest pressed against Sasuke’s back. Naruto’s pulse thrummed like a small bird’s heartbeat. Strong, warm arms circled his waist from behind.  Hot breath blew across the back of his ear.

In any other circumstance, he’d be enjoying himself thoroughly.

Too bad the warm body behind him was in danger of becoming a cold, dead corpse if they didn’t get to the hospital soon.

“You could have said something,” Sasuke’s voice was drowned by the roaring engine drowned. His bike zipped through traffic at thirty kilometers above the speed limit. Naruto’s grip tightened.

“Teme-“ wheeze “-slow-“ wheeze “-down!”

“We’re almost there. Don’t pass out.”

Moments from the world-famous Senju Hashirama Memorial Hospital, Naruto did just that.

 

* * *

 

 

Cold steel clicked with a satisfying finality.

“I got you,” Naruto whispered in his ear.

The manacles on Sasuke’s wrists clanked gently. The bastard rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck. His large, dark eyes glittered with mirth.

“And what do you plan to do with me, _officer_ Uzumaki?”

Naruto’s mouth was suddenly too wet and too dry. At the same time. He swallowed.

“Uh...”

“Surely, you know,” Sasuke smirked, angling his head to expose the flawless skin of his neck, “that you have anything you want.”

Naruto reached for his inhaler because fuck, he couldn’t breathe.

“Anything?” He rasped after taking a puff.

“Nothing’s stopping you.”

Naruto leaned forward. He buried his nose in Sasuke’s pitch-black baby-soft hair. “Only if it’s what you want,” he whispered.

“As if I’d ask for something I didn’t want. Idiot.”

He slid his hands under Sasuke’s shirt. Pressed down against a firm, toned stomach, lingering at a patch of skin where a small metal object burned under his touch.

“Is that...?“

Sasuke hummed an affirmative.

“Damn, Uchiha,” Naruto chuckled, “is there anything you don’t have pierced?”

Sasuke shifted backwards, arching into Naruto’s burning-hot rock- hard, uh, thingie- wazzit called again? Oh yeah. Ahem. Erection.

“If you really want to know,” Sasuke murmured, gasping softly as Naruto’s rough, calloused hand ventured lower, “just-“ he moaned sweetly, throwing his head back further, “yeah, like that. Mmm.”

Who would’ve guessed that bastard had such warm, lovely skin, or that he made this _noise_ when-

“Oi dobe, wake up.”

Opening his eyes took major effort. Memories of that dream forced a rush of blood to his heads. That’s heads plural because he was a guy so - y’know- there was the one he thought with, and the one that controlled his decisions. Fuck, he was dizzy.

“Where...” Naruto rasped.

“You’re at the hospital.”

His vision blurred in the dimly lit room. Linen with what felt like a two-digit thread count irritated the exposed skin on his back. The doctors probably took one look at Naruto and thought, 'hey, you know what this guy needs in his life? More embarressing situations. Yeah, let's strip him naked and put him in one of those backless hospital gowns.' Also, the front part- the whole thing- was three sizes too small. Basically an apron. 

Go figure.

“But why’re you still here?” Naruto grumbled.

“Your current emergency contact died-”

“What?!” 

“-Over a decade ago.”

“Oh yeah. Fuckin’ Jiraya. Good riddance. He was the worst guardian ever… and a goddamn pervert to boot,” Naruto said, tacking on a half-assed, “uh and may he rest in peace or whatever. P-please don’t haunt me, old man. I didn’t mean nothin' by it.”

Sasuke cast Naruto a sidelong glance. The corner of his mouth twitched upward. Naruto’s eye lingered on his silver lip ring. He wondered why anyone would, like, _do_ that to themselves, and how it would feel against-

Oh hell, there goes the heart monitor, beeping up a storm for no good reason.

Naruto glared at the useless machine for a solid minute. Finally, it slowed down- and sped up again when a shrill scream erupted from the television. Sasuke sat in the visitor’s chair with his legs hooked over the back and neck on the handrest. His head tilted backwards to watch the screen upside-down.

“Is that-“ Naruto ripped the oxygen mask off his face, “is that a-a h-h-horror movie?”

Sasuke lifted his head, quirked a brow, and replied with the usual “hn.”

“Could ya, ano, ch-change it or…” He trailed off, noticing a dark, square object in the Uchiha’s hand. He squinted, wondering if that was his badge. Y'know, the police badge that he could not, under any circumstance, afford to lose. 

“Don’t tell me one of Konoha's finest is afraid of ghosts,” Sasuke drawled, derailing that train of thought.

“Fuck you, ghosts are the worst! Like, like, you can’t kill them c-cuz they’re already dead, and- and- what are you doing with that?” (‘That’ referring to Naruto’s precious police badge. There was no use denying it anymore. )

Sasuke ignored his question, picking a different thread of conversation. “You made strange noises in your sleep.” He flipped open the leather cover, tilting the bright metal this way and that, “what were you dreaming about?”

Silence settled in the small white room, punctuated by a steady, rapid beep-beep-beep-beepbeepbeep-

“I don’t remember,” Naruto lied. 

Little specks of color –reflections of light from the medical equipment- danced in Sasuke’s dark irises as they peered at him curiously. Naruto stared, feeling like his eyeballs were glued in place. He couldn’t look away if he tried.

The beeping continued.

“I see." The left corner of Sasuke's lips quirked upward. "The Konoha P.D. chose the world’s shittiest liar for a sting operation. How... Typical.”

“Hey now, I’m not. Uh. Yes. Wait, wait, I mean- I don’t know what you’re t-talking about!”

“Naruto.”

“Okay, fine. Whatever. I suck at lying- not that _my dreams_ are any of _your_ business- but you suck at driving and drug-dealing and-and having manners. Hmph. Jerk.”

“It’s not what you think.”

That sounded like another ramp-up to an insult aimed at Naruto's sub-par thinking skills-

“I’m not the one they should be after.”

-or not.

“They?”

“You. The police.”

“Psh. Like I’m gonna take _your_   word for it.”

“Danzo sent you.”

“How’d you-  I m-mean, that’s confidential.”

“He tried to frame me before.”

Naruto’s fingers twitched against the stiff white sheets. He knew it. He fucking knew that creep was a liar and cheater and-

“Yeah, right,” Naruto growled, “quit talking shit, Uchiha.”

Sasuke scoffed. He shook his head, wearing a smile that didn't reach his eyes, then turned back to the movie. Naruto made a point not to look at the screen or the only other person in the room. He settled for staring at the door. Just as he was about to drift off, Sasuke spoke. 

“You’re one of those, aren’t you,” He stated coolly, “That’s why they wanted you to do this.”

Sasukedangled the bait. Naruto musta been a goldfish or koi or catfish- and isn't that a weird name for something that isn't even half-cat? He always pictured a mermaid type of creature, but with the top half as a cat instead of a person- shit, that's way off topic. The point is, after a long period of glaring, then staring off into space as his thoughts derailed, stupid Naruto took Sasuke's stupid bait like a stupid (cat?) fish.

“One of what?" He asked (taking the bait, as mentioned before._

Sasuke smirked. “One of the simple ones-"

"Teme!"

"-too honest for their own good." he continued, "they're bad liars who can’t tell when they're being lied to. That type, that’s you.”’

“…I don’t see what’s so horrible about it.”

“No, I suppose you wouldn’t.”

Sasuke set Naruto's badge aside. He arched to pull a phone from his back pocket. The blue-white glow of the screen illuminated his features, catching on the silver metal adorning his nose, brow, and lip. He shifted position -bending backwards off the edge of the chair with his legs now on the hand-rest- as he tapped on the touchscreen. His thick black hair fell downwards, exposing his forehead. Naruto never saw Sasuke's whole forehead before. It wasn't anything special. Picture your run-of-the mill forehead with the usual amount of... skin... Kinda weird that the top part of your face is just skin, ne? Sasuke's skin, though, was another story. A really pretty, interesting type of story.

He should stop staring.

The longer he watched Sasuke, the more he-

_You can do anything you want._

-remembered that horrible nightmare. That's what it was. The only good part about it was getting Sasuke into handcuffs. Not- not for sexual reasons, but because he was a bad, bad man and deserved to be punished.

By the law. Not, like, in a kinky way. Y'know, spanking or-

Naruto ripped his gaze away. He forced himself to stare out the window. The roads were almost empty of cars.  Konoha's famous sky-scrapers blotted out the horizon. The hazy, purple-tinted sky outshone even the brightest stars in the middle of the night.

In all his years of watching that sky, Naruto saw satellites, shooting stars, hot air balloons, clouds, airplanes, and even a flying saucer. Or... Naw, scratch that last one. He was just a little kid with too much imagination. Besides, one believed him. Not Kiba, Iruka, or even Jiraiya. After a while, he stopped trying to convince people and put the whole thing out of his head. Now and then, the memory would sneak up on him. Whenever he thought too hard about it- about the flying saucer and all the things he saw and felt that no one would ever understand or believe, his asthma acted up. Thoughts like that became a health hazard. Usually, Naruto did his best to push them down.

Right then, he was too exhausted to hold back.

"Ne, Sasuke, if I told you..." Naruto cleared his throat, cursing how the oxygen mask distorted his voice, 

Their gazes met. Naruto blinked first. 

"Never mind."

"Spit it out, usuratonkachi."

He blamed his recent near-death experience for what happened next.

"If I t-told you I saw a flying saucer, would you believe me?"

"What did it look like?”

Naruto described it.

"Do- do you believe it?"

Sasuke set his phone on his stomach. He looked at Naruto. Pulled his lower lip beneath his front teeth, tugging at the silver ring in the middle.

Naruto focused on the paper band around his own wrist - the one the hospital gave him- to avoid agitating the heart monitor.

"Yes," Sasuke said, returning to his phone.

"Stop making fun of me, asshole."

"I'm not."

"But- but everyone says... It doesn't matter what I think I saw. There's no such thing as flying saucers or... I mean, maybe I dreamt it. I was just a little kid, y'know." Naruto scrubbed his left hand through his hair, feeling agitated for all the wrong reasons. The IV needle attaches to his wrist came loose, leaving a thin trickle of blood. He pretended not to notice even though it hurt.  

"Were you old enough to know the difference between dreams and reality?” Sasuke asked.

Blue eyes widened in surprise. This was the last thing he expected from a guy like him. Like, what game was he playing? Was this a trap? Why did-

"Yeah,” Naruto found himself saying.

"Then you know what you saw, and there's no reason to lie about it." Sasuke slid from the chair with feline grace. He picked up the bloody IV needle.

"When you put it that way-"

"Usuratonkach. People don't know shit. They hear what they want to and call you a liar if your 'truth' makes them question theirs. It’s never a good idea to listen to them."

Criminal or not, Sasuke made a good point. Now, let's flash back to five minutes ago: Naruto refused to believe Sasuke’s comment about Danzo because believing Sasuke would mean questioning everything the Konoha PD stood for, which meant questioning the very institution Naruto dedicated his life to. Naruto knew what he'd find down that rabbit hole. Spoiler alert, it's another asthma attack.

Worse, it also meant that Naruto was like everyone else- these ‘people’ Sasuke had so much contempt for- and that seriously sucked. 

Naruto swallowed the bitterness and forced himself back to the present.

"So what, you sayin' you believe in aliens?" He chuckled without humor. 

"I believe there's more it than what people are willing to see."

With that, Sasuke slid the IV needle back under Naruto's skin and readjusted the tape. 

"Figures you'd be good at that."

Because, y'know, needles. Drugs. Drug dealer. That whole thing.

"Thanks," Sasuke replied.

The sound of crickets cut off Naruto's sure to be incredibly witty reply. He was confused, then realized it must be some sort of ringtone. Yup- Sasuke pulled out a second phone from his back pocket (because he's a drug dealer, and they always have two phones! Believe it!). He frowned at whatever he saw on the screen.

"I have to go."

"But-"

"Here." He placed the first phone on the bedside table along with Naruto’s badge and wallet. "Call me if you ever want to know the truth."

Cool fingers brushed his forehead, a soft touch so fleeting Naruto almost (almost) wondered if it really happened.

Sasuke stepped back, blinked, and glanced at his own hand. He looked lost, like he didn’t know what he just did or why. His eyes flicked to Naruto, who seriously considered punching the heart monitor in the face (y’know, the screen with all those squiggly lines) because it kept beeping too fast and Sasuke-

Sasuke turned on his heel and walked away.

"Hey-"

The door had already shut behind him. 

"-how the hell am I supposed to call you if I don't have your number?" Naruto whispered to the empty room.

Wait.

Why would Sasuke just... leave his own phone next to Naruto's stuff and go? Unless... With a grunt, Naruto reached for the phone. His phone, cracked screen , orange case, frog charm and all. Everything was the same except the wallpaper - a picture of Sasuke flashing a peace sign in front of a drooling, unconscious Naruto.

That asshole hacked his phone.

He squinted at the screen. In the picture, a word was written on Naruto's forehead in black marker.

'Usuratonkachi.'

"No. Fucking. Way!" He shouted, clenching his fist. 

Sasuke drew on Naruto’s face. Sasuke hacked Naruto’s phone. Sasuke probably put his number in, because how else was Naruto supposed to call?

Then, it was settled: as soon as he got out of there, he’d call that jerk and ask him out on an- uh to the- interrogation. Right.

The excuse, wait no, _reason_ didn’t matter.

He needed to see Sasuke again.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Three months. I slaved on this damn one-shot for THREE MONTHS and finally went 'fuck it' because it's one of those fics that'll never be 'good' so 'close enough' will have to do. 
> 
> People keep thinking my fics are abandoned and it's like ?? No ??? Never??? The new chapter of NTLA is like 90% done. It's a monster, content-wise, and another one of those 'not good but fuck it close enough' things. When you see it, you'll know what I mean.
> 
> Also, life update-- I'm working a Normal Adult Job at a Real Company and it is sucking the soul out of me. (Jk, it's actually not bad, but.) I got the hang of it now, and am forced to sit in front of a computer eight hours a day. 
> 
> They never said I couldn't write, so here I am, and here you go. 
> 
> Pls comment & bookmark & kudos if you liked this weird-ass one-shot, and thanks for ur patience.
> 
> (Edit: fixed mistakes and fleshed out parts that might be confusing. Should flow better now.)


End file.
